Nocturnal Poïesis

That is the new album by Moby. It's been out since the 26th of June. Somehow, it tends to remind me of BT's This Binary Universe. But it has nothing to do with the music directly, both are very different and creative pieces of work by gifted musicians.

It has got more to do with the way they make me feel and the way they were made. Both albums were created by musicians who had gone back to their basics when they were making the music. It is hard to put into words how the music from both these albums make me feel but lately I have been a lot less sure of myself.

I am constantly second guessing myself and my reliable (?) unconscious has been kinda absent. Its like a huge gap somewhere just beneath the surface of my mind. It is a pretty weird feeling when you can constantly feel something but cannot put your finger on it. Everything that you have accumulated eludes you and nothing you do makes sense to you. I feel so very mechanical, typing out mindless words day after day and having no idea whatsoever about what I am heading for.

I was so sure of what was going on just a while ago but suddenly it feels like I have slipped and fallen. Fallen in to something without really realizing it. Am i really that lazy? Why do not feel like doing anything about it. There is precious little time I feel I have in which I must acomplish everything I want to do. Ultimately, what is it that really want to do?

I am no longer sure of things and suddenly things have been spiraling down to this unknown place neither dark nor lit because well, it is n my mind and I can only feel it within my mind. It is hard to be thinking that with a mind like this and a history like mine I want to take over the world.

Taking over the world, a nice ambitious thing to do, except that it has been done to death and no one really wants to hear about it. Funny cartoon characters try to do it all the time and the valiant hero stops them. people and entities in real life have tried to do it. Most have failed and some have succeeded, in their own different ways. Ultimately, nothing lasts. Almost nothing.

Somethings do last, like when they are passed down from generation to generation. They may change their forms entirely through the numerous passing ons but in essence they live on. How worth it is to live like that? Who am I trying to impress here? The rest of the world or just myself?