The lost_poet's guide to writing an exam
Writing an exam is serious business. You need to have good concentration, analytical skills, a distraction free environment and have to be ready for anything.
Thus, you must have a bottle of water handy on a hot day. You will get thirsty, so you will take a sip. Then the power will go out (but the exam must go on) so you take another sip and decide it is too hot, so you pour some over your head. Caution: If you are sitting on the first bench, the rest of the class is going to break in to audible sniggers.
Once you sip water one time too many, you are going to need to take a leak. However, with long benches attached to equally long desks and busy exam writers, you do not want to disturb anyone. So what you do is you move your answer script out of the way and vault over desk, land softly on the ground in front and promptly walkout (cue:silent applause).
When with a cold, you must maintain silence. But once the urge comes, you must give vent to the earth shattering sneeze that you have been saving for after the exam. The effects are relative - the windows rattle, pens skid on paper and every head turns in unison. Some snigger while others are rudely awakened from their exam writing trance. Apologize softly.
In case someone else sneezes louder than you after a while, acknowledge their achievement after the general shock and wonder has dissipated. A generous smile and a thumbs up greatly encourages everyone. Post encouragement, you can acknowledge verbally to no one in particular. The lost_poet suggests singing softly "I'm not the only one ". If the pretty girl sitting beside you giggles softly, it's a bonus.
Once you are done with your exam, pack thing up while leaving your answer script on the desk for submission. While packing, watch in wonder as the answer script of the same pretty girl is nowhere to be seen. Then, be amazed as she pulls out the answer script from her packed bag like a skilled magician. Applaud her efforts with a grin.
After getting out, realise that you have no more exams to give, no more classes to attend and money is waiting for you in the email. But first, you must conk and let the stress of not sleeping enough and working too hard takes its toll. Take the pretty girl home with you and let her pamper you while you develop a mild fever and generally feel like a four letter word. On your way out, surprise a few people by saying that you are not applying for the next higher degree (while explaining that you are going to do something else).
Once you have done everything, congratulate yourself. You have successfully written your exam.
Thus, you must have a bottle of water handy on a hot day. You will get thirsty, so you will take a sip. Then the power will go out (but the exam must go on) so you take another sip and decide it is too hot, so you pour some over your head. Caution: If you are sitting on the first bench, the rest of the class is going to break in to audible sniggers.
Once you sip water one time too many, you are going to need to take a leak. However, with long benches attached to equally long desks and busy exam writers, you do not want to disturb anyone. So what you do is you move your answer script out of the way and vault over desk, land softly on the ground in front and promptly walkout (cue:silent applause).
When with a cold, you must maintain silence. But once the urge comes, you must give vent to the earth shattering sneeze that you have been saving for after the exam. The effects are relative - the windows rattle, pens skid on paper and every head turns in unison. Some snigger while others are rudely awakened from their exam writing trance. Apologize softly.
In case someone else sneezes louder than you after a while, acknowledge their achievement after the general shock and wonder has dissipated. A generous smile and a thumbs up greatly encourages everyone. Post encouragement, you can acknowledge verbally to no one in particular. The lost_poet suggests singing softly "I'm not the only one ". If the pretty girl sitting beside you giggles softly, it's a bonus.
Once you are done with your exam, pack thing up while leaving your answer script on the desk for submission. While packing, watch in wonder as the answer script of the same pretty girl is nowhere to be seen. Then, be amazed as she pulls out the answer script from her packed bag like a skilled magician. Applaud her efforts with a grin.
After getting out, realise that you have no more exams to give, no more classes to attend and money is waiting for you in the email. But first, you must conk and let the stress of not sleeping enough and working too hard takes its toll. Take the pretty girl home with you and let her pamper you while you develop a mild fever and generally feel like a four letter word. On your way out, surprise a few people by saying that you are not applying for the next higher degree (while explaining that you are going to do something else).
Once you have done everything, congratulate yourself. You have successfully written your exam.
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Awwwww!
Not that you got much pampering - not much more than I did anyway ;o)